OKAY OKAY OKOKOK

SO.

I managed to get into a friend of a friend's Origin to download the Sims 2 Ultimate collection. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. I HAVE WAITED FOREVER FOR THIS MOMENT. It's installing right now. My 11 year old self is SCREAMING. I've never had everything before. I've only ever had a few expansions and one stuff pack for Sims 2. I'm installing it on my old vista computer, rather than this laptop. My vista has a good graphic card and runs Sims 2 perfectly, but I don't know how well it will be with all of these expansions. I'm hoping for the best. It's an old computer. This laptop runs my Sims 2 expansions fine, except it has a bad graphic card that makes the screen flicker. I'd put up with it though if I have to use this one instead.

Man oh man am I excited.

I wish I knew how to put up a better layout. I use to be good at that stuff, but now I actually kind of don't care.
I'm glad it's October. It's definitely fall outside. There's a lot of stuff I like to do in the fall, but I hardly get to. Like the fall festival, haunted houses, carving pumpkins, etc. It's kind of sad to be single right now. I want someone to do couple's stuff with. It's whatever. On Halloween I was really wanting to drink, but my friend made plans to go with this random kid to the club. I don't have anyone to get drinks from. I wish things were okay with Billy and I. I want normalcy back. This weekend I'm supposed to see my other friend. I won't believe that until it happens. She's basically ignored me for 3 months because she got a new boyfriend.

I was also thinking about seeing a therapist again and getting anxiety medicine. The only thing that has ever worked for me is Ativan.

I have this big bullshit college paper that I need to be writing right now. I dread it all.

Crazy ex knows my password to multiple accounts, so I had to change this one around from ffawnn to fawwns.

Although nothing has really changed, I atleast feel different. I feel better. I hope it lasts long. Classes started and I'm trying to do really well this semester. I had a mini-crisis concerning what exactly I'm doing with my life. I've been thinking about studying to become a lab technician. It's a 2 year deal. I would need to talk to my guidance counselors though. I'm still considering it. It's not really a degree though, and I want a degree. I don't know what I should major in, or what's the most useful... I'm all around confused. I love history, but where is a history major going to get me?

I've also been worried about Billy. I think he has some deep rooted issues. I don't know how to get through to him.

Lastly, my fucking teeth look like shit. Omfg. I'm not a smoker, but they had gotten so yellow and I cannot get rid of it. I'm going to try baking soda. And my gums are bad, as usual, but I'm working on it. My acid reflux is wrecking havoc on my mouth. I know I need to go to the dentist, but I'm so ashamed. I'm trying to make teeth look presentable first.

OH. SIMS 4 COMES OUT ON TUESDAY. YUS.

This summer has sucked. There's not much to update on, because I haven't done much. I did put in a job application at the local animal hospital, and I even did an interview. My friend also put in a good word for me. But I haven't heard anything, and that was all a month ago.
I've hung out with Billy twice. He was here a few days ago and bought me some vodka and wine. So that's been a fun thing to do. I've never been drunk prior, and I had like 4 shots in an hour in a half (spaced out because I don't know what I can handle) and I'm still really uncertain what I felt. I know I was altered, but not really drunk. I guess tipsy. I could still type fine. Last night I had a glass of wine and I was mehhh. Each time I end up falling asleep though. I bought a hookah pen yesterday, too.

Idk. This past month 1/2 has been really hard. There's a lot going on with the people in my circle. I hope things get better soon. The positive side is things are better than they were a month ago, in different ways, but things are also a little worse in different ways too. It also appears I'm the only one who is going back to college for a second term. If I could just get a job and pay off my fines to get my license, I'd be set. I want to live the life I aspire to have.