Endless hell.

I smoked my first pack of cigarettes this past week. I want some more, but I have to sneak to get them. I'm just depressed  as hell today. WHAT ELSE IS NEW.
I'm trying to be optimistic about things.

Tomorrow I'm going to fast/detox/whatever. I'm bloated and I was to lose some pounds. I'm going to get an infusing water bottle, hopefully, but I'm definitely getting some lemons and cucumbers. Basically that's all I'm going to consume for a few days. Right now I'm eating a jalapeno double from mcdonald's, lol. So long, food.

I'm fed up with fucking everything. I kind of want to quit talking to everyone for a while. I'm tired of being annoying.

I got the drunkest I have ever been the other night and paid for it severely the next day. But I lost 3 lbs because of it so whatever. I haven't weighed this little since 2012.
I also bought my first pack of cigarettes today. I feel destructive, and I want to be destructive to myself. I don't want to keep cutting. I'm really stressed out with life and school. I have psychology homework due since Monday, and then have another due tomorrow and I need to work on it all. Then I have this huge essay for english due this month and I have to do perfect on it because I didn't turn in my last essay because I had a breakdown. So basically, next semester I'm taking a break.

I got my driving permit last week. Fucking finally. I can get my license this December.