It's not fair that I'm the one who has to hurt from this, after I tried so hard to prevent it from happening. I feel so bad, I feel so guilty. I couldn't make you feel like I was worth keeping. I should have kissed you more, and I should have called you sweet things more. I regret not doing that enough. Yet, I also feel so deceived and betrayed, we both should have moved on from our pasts to a new experience together. The past is suppose to be in the past. And I don't understand why you made that decision, I don't think I ever can because it is ridiculous to keep holding yourself back from new things.
It's been 6 days and I don't know why I can't stop feeling this way. It's such misery, and it's stupid. I would have done so much more to keep you, knowing that this was our outcome.

He broke up with me a few days ago because he still wants his ex. OKAY. Go get cheated on and used again. Go right ahead. The fact that I know that is coming, and that's going to taste sweet, does not mean that I don't feel destroyed. I feel betrayed. I feel deceived. I was a rebound.
So I added Billy back and we are going to hang out at some unprecedented time soon. I'm in such a mess. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm literally betrayed. How dare he do this when we confided into each other over all the CRAP our ex (not billy) did to us. Fucking stupid. So fucking stupid, you weak, insecure child. You're suppose to be moving on. You can't keep your head up someone's ass for so long and be treated like dirt.